Hello friend. Welcome to All My Mentors Are Dead online; aka iAMMAD. If you want to understand the irony of the completely accidental (or divinely appointed perhaps) acronym iAMMAD then look to the Why iAMMAD? tab in my menu. All My Mentors Are Dead was an idea I had years ago when I realized that all the people I had been learning from, mostly authors from the 1800s were all long gone and would be forgotten had it not been for the books they have written. More recently my mentors are present day authors and speakers, or more recent authors both of online content and paper bound books. None of them have any face-to-face or real-time influence on me. There is a reason for that; I naturally resist any kind of persuasive communication directed at me that feels to be manipulative in any way. I do not think any of us are unlike in this propensity to resist, and this is why I think that what is contained here on this site, at a very basic level, is vitally important for the individual and personal growth of every thinking person.
Many years ago I retreated to the world of online communities for a time from a community of faith where the leadership was strongly controlling and after twenty years of walking alongside of him we had a falling out of sorts. One of the beautiful things is that he, before we went separate ways, allowed me access to his library of wall-to-wall and ceiling-to-floor books where the idea of “all my mentors are dead” first came to mind. I thank God for all the authors from years ago who had incredible wisdom, were not distracted by the busyness of life in our modern age, and who had the foresight to write about the lessons they had learned in life’s journey. I cannot help that there is a strong Christian influence in this story because, after all, there was a strong Christian influence in my life. But this is not a website intended for Christians only; so If we do not share a common faith please bear with me and follow along. If you have had experience with controlling leadership in business, in family situations, in areas of religion, or in some most basic relationships then I think there is something here for you. This whole website is intended to be an affirmation of independent thinking and of self-directed personal growth.
There is always at least that one, and perhaps more; but there is always at least that one. A manager or supervisor. A business partner who assumes the role of boss. A spouse or a partner in some other capacity. The head coach or MVP of the team. The spiritual leader. The eldest child in a family unit in our dysfunctional world. There is always at least that one and the MO (modus operandi) is usually the same. The method of operating is usually the same with the controlling person and the tactics they use, regardless of the arena of life they are employed, are eerily alike. There is always at least that one in every person’s life and that is why I entitled this paragraph Your Story. No man is an island and no man has struggles unique to them alone. And while there are no two of us human beings exactly alike our make-up, our psyche, is pretty much the same. Our need for respect and security is the same. Our need for relevance and significance is the same. And our struggle with finding these in a crazy, mixed up, dysfunctional world is the same.
Maybe you’re an alpha type that says now; That’s me! I am that one! You may recognize yourself as a controlling individual that is at a loss as to how to change. This is of course assuming you have any desire to change. Maybe you have been prodding, and pushing, and goading people in an effort to be a change agent in your business or organization and have come to the realization that it just isn’t working according to plan. You have tried to create a burning platform or catalyst for change only to see it blow up time and time again. That is because people naturally resist any kind of persuasive communication that feels to them like manipulation. Do you see yourself here? Then this website, as it develops and evolves, will be for you too. I have not only been the controlled; I have also recognized in me a tendency to try to control situations and others. This is something I have personally been battling ever since I recognized in horrific realization that it was there. I can relate to the frustration of wanting to affect change but not wanting to be manipulative. I have caught myself framing language in a way that even to me felt manipulative all too many times. I have come to realize that the key to affecting change, the very first step, is to change myself. And this website will be, in some ways, a catalog of my ongoing change and growth process.
WHY I WANT TO HELP
Why do I want to help people? Well the most basic answer to this is that there were many who have helped me. I know the constant second-guessing of self in your mind that goes along with decades of being prodded and pushed. I know the crippling and unproductive nature of induced insecurity. I know the negative consequences of peer pressure, which is simply fear pressure; rather than the positive outcome of peer influence. I know what it is like to feel stuck and I have had many along my journey help me to get unstuck. I have had many along my journey provide a positive peer influence in my life and provide to me the freedom and affirmation to choose my own path. I know what it is like to feel liberated and I want to help others to experience liberty too. The founding fathers of my country got it right that all men (regardless of their native land); all men are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.
Why do I want to help people? I want to help people to learn what liberty is in every sense of the word so they can be free to live their lives as free men and women. I want to affirm free thinking, and self-directed personal growth, for every man, woman, and young person. I want to be a catalyst for change in our world without resorting to manipulation or preformed expectations of others. I want to be a blessing and help to others always, and in every way, for the remaining days of my life.
THE GOAL OF MY SITE
The goal of my website is simple. As stated in my subtitle: I want to provide an affirmation of free thinking and self-directed growth. This is not to say that we do not need teachers and advisers in our lives; we absolutely do. But we need to choose teachers and advisers that will not lord their influence over us and insist upon a certain outcome. We need teachers and advisers who will provide every bit of knowledge they have on any given topic and then who will leave it up to us to choose as we will.
If you ever need a hand or have any questions at all please feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to help you out. If the nature of your question is personal and you would like to talk privately then feel free to email me at Carl@allmymentorsaredead.com and I will make it a point to return your communication. Ultimately my goal is to be a help to you. If my story can do that then I will feel that I have accomplished something of value here.
All the best to you and
kind regards always,
Carl J. Dill – General Editor